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TWEET Snap In times of insurmountable fear and crushing existential anxiety, there's one thing we can always count on: prank texts. Authorities urge local residents to avoid mass transit and to stay indoors. Click to see high-risk areas. What awaited me was a big, naked Black man and his humongous penis.

Embarrassingly, I got suckered into opening photos of this man Girls to fuck in Biloxi Mississippi tonight

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There's also the one that appears to be a video of a long grocery line, only to cut to a close-up of a butthole letting out a fart. This sort of gross-out text pranks is stupid and immature, but it keeps spirits high—or, perhaps, moderately annoyed—as we all attempt to go about life during Awendaw-SC married woman seeking sex coronavirus outbreak that has many of us in self-isolation.

However, I was taken by that man used in this text chain. He's out there, somewhere, possibly not knowing that his big, buff image—and anaconda-esque schlong—is being used to trick countless people out in the world. So I set out to find him and ask him how he feels about being unwittingly a part of Interested in conscientious ladies prank.

Here's what I found. Like a good journalist, I took the image of the unidentified man and did a reverse Google image search, which allows you to a photo into the search engine. Google will then provide of other sites where that image has been posted online. The sent me to—as Adult singles dating in Camp, Arkansas (AR). can imagine—various porn sites, including PornHub, where quite a few users had shared the unidentified man's full video.

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I clicked Naughty women wants sex tonight Newcastle-Maitland one and there he was: the same face now contorted in orgasmic pleasure, the same chocolate leather headboard and cream-colored sheets, the same big ol' dick now being choked out by his thick arms.

In the bottom corner of the video there was a website: pantheonbear.

That redirected to another website, hotoldermale. Got me.

There I was greeted by, well, hot older males, all passionately engaging in oral and anal sex. On the website's tabs was a button labeled "models. I scrolled through, passing Adam Clay a Mr.

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Clean-looking man sitting on a lawn chair with a large Prince Albert piercingthe tattooed, hairy bear Jack Dixon, and Bishop Sterling, a gray-haired, mature gentleman who looks Married wives seeking hot sex Napa your average pop-pop who manages a CarMax. Then, finally, on 17, I found.

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His name, apparently, is "Wood. His body type was labeled as "bear," "big dick," "daddy," and "muscular," which, well, accurate.

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According to his bio, Wood was a "hot Adult seeking sex tonight Swisher Iowa 52338 beefy" ex-pro football player "with a warm personality and a BIG fucking cock!

Excited that I had tracked down the man inside the prank text, I set out to try to find the real Wood. I googled "ex football player turned porn star" but only found a former running back for the Minnesota Vikings named Dave Nelson, who starred in the porn flick Backfield in Motion, directed by Ron Jeremy. He and Wood didn't look anything alike, so it wasn't.

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Then I figured I'd go the most obvious route and the website's support address, explaining the prank texts and that I'd love to be connected to Wood to chat about it. Five hours later Walter Smith, the owner of Handjob for fingerfuck Productions, responded: "I'm sorry to hear that Wood's image has been used in such a way.

It's quite shameful. Unfortunately, Wood passed away several years ago. Our images from him are from I followed up with my sincere condolences, and asked what the cause of death was, but received no response.

Bad News About the Well-Endowed Man In Those Coronavirus Prank Texts

As you can imagine, I felt like a real asshole and not the kind that farts in your face when you click on a link. It's realizations like these, where Manvel ND bi horny wives laughing at something only to discover the absolute downer that forms part of the backstory, are a good reminder to maybe not be total jerks.

This story is truly a sad trombone. Pranks come at you fast; so does life. Subscribe to the VICE newsletter.